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Gay friends even warned guys who approached me at bars that I was Mormon, a lie that I got tired of correcting. The safest sex partners are the ones getting regular testing for HIV and other STIs — a minimum of every three to six months — and who are protecting themselves with condoms and PrEP more on those later. The two biggest turn-offs for anyone with whom you're flirting are desperation and lonliness. I had hoped he would make an exception, but he did not: You can read reputable books on the subject or do some online research just make sure the sites are credible.

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You will be thrown a lot of terminology, especially if you look for sex with men on hookup apps like Grindr.

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Eventually, we just finished ourselves. A lot of guys beg. He was the sort of guy the year-old closeted version of me had fantasized about — a brooding former model who was late enough into his twenties to be retired, had probably been mistaken for Brandon Boyd inand was confident enough to wave at me from across the bar.

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